Farah. Full-time Student. Malaysian.

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Assalamualaikum; hiiiiiii

As today is 9th Jan of 2020; i hope its not too late to do a post for summary of 2019 that just ended last few days ago. 

Phewww- for start i still can't believe that its been one and half year i survived living in Bangi pursuing my dream. or was it? idek anymore, kinda feels like lost track for awhile. everything is fall apart for now. or was it i already lost my interest or passion in catching my dream? honestly i dont know what i want to do with my life now. i feels like part of me- there's something missing but i dont know what it is. i think im a changed person now. im not like before anymore, i become more dependant to people; before i just can survived without any interaction with people but now i guess i need people in ma life so i wont be that bored anymore. hahahaha

Now, to think about... there's so many things happened in last 2019.  Bro getting married, i had my first car accident, people come and go in my life. and i guess i learned lots about people; how to put expectation and the harsh reality that i have no choice except to accept it as how it is. I getting know much better about myself; i discover more about myself; there's up and down memories that make me frustated sometimes and tired. adulthood is hard and sucks. Im tired :( i need a long vacay. that solely for myself. to recollect my strength back to hustle more this upcomin 2020. but there too much tasks to finish and i cant even have a good damn sweet time for me time. 

I just want to rest for a bit. i think i had overworked myself. im tired. i just want to cry out my heart out of all these misery. i know i should be grateful for all good things that i have gotten for last year. i am. and im so blessful that Allah send me lots of people that i can trust with my secrets but the thing is im not so used to talk about my feelings much and i've been pushing myself to become more open to be more directive with my feelings so that i didnt keep it in my heart anymore. but i just hope that sometimes i can find someone who just can read mine without i had to talk about it. that just simply can understand me without i had to explain what wrongs with me. i hate to justify myself. 

Sometimes people make me tired, but i cant function well without people. 

how to do. what to do.

help me juseyo.

save me from this misery. i want to stop. i want to cry out all this bad feeling. i hate myself being weak. i want to be strong. i hate myself that always complain about things.

Hope this 2020 will bring me more lucks and good news.

hopeful sad soul;

Farah L.

xoxo. thanks for reading.

Assalamualaikum; hiiiiiii

As today is 9th Jan of 2020; i hope its not too late to do a post for summary of 2019 that just ended last few days ago. 

Phewww- for start i still can't believe that its been one and half year i survived living in Bangi pursuing my dream. or was it? idek anymore, kinda feels like lost track for awhile. everything is fall apart for now. or was it i already lost my interest or passion in catching my dream? honestly i dont know what i want to do with my life now. i feels like part of me- there's something missing but i dont know what it is. i think im a changed person now. im not like before anymore, i become more dependant to people; before i just can survived without any interaction with people but now i guess i need people in ma life so i wont be that bored anymore. hahahaha

Now, to think about... there's so many things happened in last 2019.  Bro getting married, i had my first car accident, people come and go in my life. and i guess i learned lots about people; how to put expectation and the harsh reality that i have no choice except to accept it as how it is. I getting know much better about myself; i discover more about myself; there's up and down memories that make me frustated sometimes and tired. adulthood is hard and sucks. Im tired :( i need a long vacay. that solely for myself. to recollect my strength back to hustle more this upcomin 2020. but there too much tasks to finish and i cant even have a good damn sweet time for me time. 

I just want to rest for a bit. i think i had overworked myself. im tired. i just want to cry out my heart out of all these misery. i know i should be grateful for all good things that i have gotten for last year. i am. and im so blessful that Allah send me lots of people that i can trust with my secrets but the thing is im not so used to talk about my feelings much and i've been pushing myself to become more open to be more directive with my feelings so that i didnt keep it in my heart anymore. but i just hope that sometimes i can find someone who just can read mine without i had to talk about it. that just simply can understand me without i had to explain what wrongs with me. i hate to justify myself. 

Sometimes people make me tired, but i cant function well without people. 

how to do. what to do.

help me juseyo.

save me from this misery. i want to stop. i want to cry out all this bad feeling. i hate myself being weak. i want to be strong. i hate myself that always complain about things.

Hope this 2020 will bring me more lucks and good news.

hopeful sad soul;

Farah L.

xoxo. thanks for reading.